You are already being a supportive partner just by asking the question. Most women choose to keep their abortions a carefully guarded secret. Whether they fear being judged, lectured, or rejected, it’s a topic that women rarely discuss.
Since you are aware that your partner chose to have an abortion, she feels she can trust you. The following are some ways you can support her.
Practice Active Listening
Active listening is more than just engaging someone in a conversation. When you actively listen, you summarize what a person said to ensure you completely understand.
Active listening means being fully present in the conversation, whether asking questions or showing interest by making eye contact. You’re listening to understand rather than respond.
Validate Her Feelings
An abortion can be emotionally and physically overwhelming. If your partner talks about being sad, angry, or numb, tell her she has every right to feel that way. As she continues talking, remind her of what you’ve heard her say so she knows you listened and understood.
Encourage her to examine her feelings and not offer clichés like “You’ll get over it” or “You just need to move on.” If you made the decision together to have the abortion, reassure her that she is not alone.
One study comparing the mental health effects of abortion concluded, “Common ground exists regarding the very basic fact that at least some women do have significant mental health issues that are caused, triggered, aggravated, or complicated by their abortion experience.” Be aware that your partner’s feelings may change over time.
Only Give Advice When Asked
Make sure she knows you are there if and when she needs to talk. Depending on how long it’s been since the abortion, she may still be dealing with pregnancy hormones and the side effects of the procedure itself.
Most women say they feel relief immediately following their abortions, but over time, those feelings may change. Allow your partner the space to process the experience. Ask instead what she needs and how you can help.
How Ramona Women’s Clinic Can Help You Both
We understand that sometimes women struggle with post-abortion feelings. If you need advice on how to help your partner, please do not hesitate to contact us for a free consultation.
If you want, schedule a free and confidential appointment for both of you to discuss her abortion experience. We also offer one-on-one mentoring for men. You can meet with an experienced mentor who will be there to provide emotional support and answer your questions.
We are here for both of you.
Ramona Women’s Clinic does not perform or refer for abortion.
All abortion information sourced in this blog is based on accurate information at the time of writing.
