Intimate with Intention

As February comes to a close; a month with a central focus on Valentine’s Day and the theme of love, let us remember that our call to love our husbands expands beyond the socially constructed season. It can be easy, especially in the early days of motherhood to forget that our husband is actually first on our priority list; although our children may demand more of our time, that is not an invitation to neglect our spouse. In the midst of the everchanging, yet ever-present chaos of raising children, it is more important than ever to intentionally cultivate intimacy in your relationship. Parenting is a partnership and a team effort. It works most effectively when both participants are on the same page with clear expectations and goals. The only way to achieve that level of unity is through intimate and intentional communication. It has become normalized in our society to perceive physical touch as the core definition of intimacy, however, the root from which intimacy grows is communication.

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Account for grace in the schedule

As if postpartum anxiety didn’t pose enough blatant challenges, the pressure from society surrounding baby schedules creates the perfect niche of manifestation. During a time of life where control is seemingly unattainable, there’s an appealing notion that the struggle can be countered by conforming your life to follow a structured schedule that allows for little to no error. As you enter motherhood, it becomes your responsibility to guard and guide your baby through their developmental stages. You are their advocate, and the pillar upon which they lean. As empowering as this is in theory, the reality becomes daunting when you hardly know where much less how to stand and offer the support for them to rest upon.
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mom, baby, flowers

Valentines Day? Every Day?

Contrasting momentary romance with a constant state of love.

We are entering into the season of LOVE where our culture markets a consumer-driven picture of romance; encouraging the world’s idea that love is measured by material gifts, monetary value, and sensuality. As if these well-advertised lies weren’t hard enough to dismantle and refute before you had kids; I’m willing to bet that your mom bun, dirty leggings and constant state of overstimulation aren’t making it any easier to reject. The image they’re trying to sell; even just for a night– jewelry and flowers (specifically long stem roses), an expensive dinner (just the two of you), wine and dessert (top-shelf, and indulgent), and of course the night ends in lingerie.  Now this idea heavily contrasts the “I Love You!” sticky note on your fridge, as you make a box of mac-n-cheese sipping a glass of $3 wine you bought at Aldi, still strutting the milk stained oversized t-shirt you stole from your husbands drawer. It’s no wonder that when we look to the world’s idea of love and romance, we feel our own relationships fall short and our efforts of love are in vain.

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Establishing Your 2024 Goals and Resolutions With Intention

Establishing your 2024 goals and resolutions with intention 

With the year coming to a close, this is normally the time that we’re sitting on the couch feeling guilty for binge-eating our way through the holidays; promising ourselves we’re going to be better starting the first of the year. However, our idea of “doing better” commonly manifests itself through extreme and unrealistic expectations we set for ourselves under the disguise of a “New Year’s resolution”. It’s hard enough to navigate the process of setting intentional goals for ourselves when we are not pregnant or nursing, but then throw those hormones, cravings, sleep deprivation, and mom-brain into the mix, and not only is our diet out the window but so is our drive to do anything physical. As if the daily pressure of motherhood wasn’t heavy enough, let’s just add some unnecessary self-deprivation into the mix.

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Redefining Your Holiday Spirit

Whether you’re spending this holiday season in maternity pants or your first set of matching pajamas, odds are this year is looking far different from those prior. While its easy to get caught up in the consumer driven rat-race we call the holidays, easy to be offended by the “eating for two” dinner comments, and equally easy to be consumed by postpartum anxiety at the sight of your baby being passed around like the sweet potato side dish; you are encouraged to take this season to establish traditions that are intentional and unique to your family.

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Healing & Health in Postpartum for the New Mom

Healing and Health in Postpartum for the New Mom.

 

The postpartum period is referred to as the fourth trimester for good reason, as the drastic changes your body undergoes continue after birth. Though challenging in its own ways, the postpartum transition can be just as trying if not more so than the previous three trimesters. While the hormonal and physical changes of pregnancy increase gradually with the size of your belly; the fourth trimester begins the minute delivery ends and to put it gently there’s nothing gradual about it. This is arguably one of the most vulnerable seasons of life, so the prioritization of your health in this period is something to prepare for.

Postpartum has become characterized by the emotional rollercoaster that results from the hormone regulation, sleep deprivation, and the overwhelming information overload of learning to nurse and care for a helpless baby. While these are all valid characteristics of the season, what’s often overlooked is the importance of combating these challenges with the prioritization of Moms’ health to minimize the effects.

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Car seat safety

Child Safety Awareness Month

Child Safety Awareness Month

 

Can you believe we’ve reached the ninth month of the year?!? September is observed as Baby Safety Awareness Month, a month where retailers, doctors, and all others in positions that influence parents and caregivers are encouraged to highlight baby safety. Since the month-long awareness originated from “Expectant Mothers Day,” it seems fitting that we share with our expecting mothers. “Baby Safety” is broad and commonly a source of anxiety for new and expecting mothers who will all but wrap their babies in bubble wrap in order to protect them from the world. (Which would be a suffocation hazard.) So instead of overwhelming you with an overabundance of information that could be packed into such a topic, let’s look at three areas of baby safety that you CAN control; car seats, sleep, and baby-proofing.
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Honoring Breastfeeding Awareness Month

The wonder of breastfeeding is a process that perfectly depicts the intention in God’s flawless design.

·       The maternal powers are not merely instinctual but in fact physical.

·       Our bodies are able to produce an ever-changing source of nutrients specifically tailored to the current needs of our baby.

If that doesn’t leave you breathlessly in awe of the maternal design, I don’t know what will. Understandably when you’re engorged and milk soaked at 2 am, it’s a little harder to appreciate, but a gift nonetheless.

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The Italics That Should be in Every Birth Plan 

Whether you’ve spent hours meticulously mapping out your birth plan, or yours simply consists of the word “EPIDURAL”, there are three truths and reminders that should be italicised and included in each birth plan.

 

  1. Labor is unpredictable

This truth cannot be emphasized enough. Not only is every labor experience different from the next, but your experience may differ from the one you’ve come to expect through your nine months of anticipation. As much as we all want our labor to go according to our expectations, with minimal surprises, very rarely will our experience perfectly reflect that which we’ve been imagining. Often our preconceived expectations can inhibit our experience and mindset if we allow ourselves to be consumed by disappointment when reality doesn’t perfectly align with said expectations. This is why the unpredictability of labor should be expected and accounted for in each birth plan. Even if your plan relies simply on an epidural; sometimes epidurals fail, only work on one side, or you arrive at the hospital and are too far along to even receive an epidural. Such unpredictability can be expected in each and every labor experience.

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Pregnant During the Holidays

The holiday season, Halloween to New Year’s, in general can be very exciting.  For some people, the entire year is just made perfect by the culmination of the holiday season.  The costumes of Halloween, followed by the most amazing Thanksgiving dinner of turkey, dressing and some pumpkin pie to finish the deal.  Only to be made perfect by the lights and all the trimmings that come with Christmas that lasts until New Year’s.

 

Of course, for some, the holiday season is only a reminder for the loss of a loved one, sister, brother, mother or father?  Despite the joyous time, there can be a side of sadness and tragedy.  I can say without reservation that during the holiday season, despite my joy of the season, I miss my mom and I miss my dad.

 

Perhaps this year is different for you.  You are no longer thinking about the joyous time of the season.  You are no longer focused on the loss of a loved one.  Perhaps this year you are realizing that without any action at all, next Christmas will have the pitter patter of little feet.  Little feet that belong to a baby.  One you might bring into this world.  Perhaps looking at all your friends enjoying the season helps you see even more how scary your pregnancy diagnosis is for you.  Your friends get to party!  They get to ring in the new year without stressing.

 

However, you are tired, and in bed by 9 pm.  Your thoughts are not on who will drive you home after a night of drinking.  Perhaps your thoughts are on who will drive you to your abortion.  Wait, is that what you want?  Is that really your only option?  It’s time for Thanksgiving dinner.  Will I tell my mom she will be a grandma at such a young age?  Or, she is ok with being a grandma, but she would have been much happier if you would have gotten married first.  What do you say to her?  You are daddy’s girl, now telling daddy you are no longer that little girl.

 

This time not only can be stressful, it IS stressful.  But you must know, it does not matter if tomorrow is Thanksgiving or Christmas.  What matters is-what do you do next?  Who do you talk to next?  What really are your options and who do you talk to about those options?  One thing you need to know is that there is time.  It doesn’t matter what day in December it is.  What matters is you, your feelings and your options.

 

We are here to talk about each and every option, as well as, each and every step.  Baby steps are needed, we can help with that.  A giant step forward?  Come talk to us first.  That giant step might end up being a little smaller than you think.  One moment at a time.  Tomorrow will be there, and we will be here for you.

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